Blog Five: "The Birthmark" by Hawthorne

   

 

  Milan Borovička, From Woman series, 1979. S) Perfection

 I could not stop reading "The Birthmark". I went back and re-read multiple passages. They resounded. The undying quest for perfection will never cease to be a potentially devastating issue in our lives, especially in women's lives, in my opinion. 

    I  struggle with my complete, total lack of perfection, every single hour of every day. I am my own Aylmer. I'm obviously still breathing, unlike Georgianna, but I ruin so much of my life by always feeding my dis-satisfaction with myself. Sometimes I feel like their is a part of me that dies (just like Georgianna died) because I won't embrace and love how I have been made.

I battle with myself concerning whether or not my lust for perfection is right or not sometimes (Just like Georgianna tries to convince herself that Aylmer's obsession with perfection is genius and pure love). Is it admirable to be so consumed with being perfect that you're constantly sacrificing to become so? Or is it a shallow, un-fulfilling pursuit. I'm not entirely sure. All I know is I can't seem to stop myself. It's a drive I've always seemed to have engraved in me.

    Georgianna says this in reference to whether or not she would rather live with imperfection or die: " Were I weaker and blinder, it might be happiness. Were I stronger, it might be endured hopefully. But, being what I find myself, methinks I am of all mortals fit to die." 

In other words, if I were more of a weak-minded person, I could even be happy with imperfection. If I were stronger, I could live with it and be hopeful despite it. But neither I am of those things and would rather die then not be what I most desire to be. --- I wouldn't say that I might rather be dead, but I definitely have felt that way during the times when I'm most disappointed in myself.

I'm not my only Aylmer. People are constantly judging one another whether they're conscious of it or not. If you don't measure up to certain standards, most of the time you get shafted. That's just a fact of life. Aylmer loved Georgianna, but that didn't stop human nature from taking over. 

I really got the vibe that Hawthorne wasn't advocating perfection considering that Georgianna died because of the obsession. 

There's a fine line between trying to improve yourself as an individual and ruining your happiness, confidence and self-reliance;), by sacrificing too much for whats ultimately unattainable; Perfection.

.....I suspect I'm still going to attempt perfection anyway.

                                                 Strength in weakness. For some reason this portrait reminded me of everything I just wrote. Draw your own connection.